A New Feeling
by 36ChloemusR5
Summary: Austin's a little confused and has mixed feelings about his best friend... And I'm not talking about Ally... WARNING: SWEARING IN FUTURE CHAPTERS AND SELF-HARMING.
1. Chapter 1

Austin & Ally:

- At Dez's House -

Austin's POV:

_What, the heck, am I going to do? I.. I have this feeling towards Dez... And.. And it's not normal. I don't usually feel like this, so why now? _

_Maybe, I'm just curious? This could just be a phase, right?... Oh, I hope._

" Hey, Austin."

" AHHHHHHHH!" I shreaked, as he had un-pleasantly pulled me out of my thoughts. " Uh.. What is it, Dez?"

" You were just staring into space. I was worried about you, dude." He explained.

" Oh. Um. Well, I'm fine.. Thanks." I nodded.

" Good. Well, we gotta meet Ally and T-" Past the name ' Ally ', I had stopped listening. _Ally. _Oh, my God, we're still dating! And I'm having these mixed feelings about Dez!... How am I going to explain this to her? She has to know. It's not fair on her. Plus, maybe, she'll be able to help? She's good with things, like this!... Right? _Well, it's worth a shot._

- At Sonic Boom -

Ally's POV:

I was just playing with the guitar picks in the jar, bored, when Austin and Dez walked in.

" Hey, guys." I smiled, running up to greet them both.

" Hey, Ally!" Dez smiled back.

" H-Hi, Ally.. " Austin looked around, as he played with the hems of his shirt.

" Uh.. Austin? Are you okay?" I asked.

" Ye-No.. Not really... "

" Oh, what's up, buddy?" Dez asked, with a hand on Austin's shoulder, looking concerned.

" I-It's nothing, really. Um.. Ally, can I talk to you?... Alone?"

" Ooh-la-la." Dez cooed.

" Uh.. S-Sure, Austin."

We both went up to the practice room and Austin shut the door, leaning against it and falling to the floor, with his knees up and his head in his arms.

" Oh, my gosh, Austin, are you okay?" I asked, worried, as I ran to his side.

He was crying.

I pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back, comforting him.

After a while, he had calmed down a little and I took this opportunity to sit back and talk to him.

" Austin.. What's up?"

" I-I... Ally.. I-" He said, in-between sniffs and tears.

" You know you can tell me anything. "

He took a deep breathe and then dried his tears, looking at me, this time.

" Ally, I love you and you know I would do _anything _for you, but... I think we should break up."

" W-Why? Have you got another girlfriend? Have you been cheating on me this whole time and the guilt is _now _eating you up? Did yo- Please, explain.. "

" It's none of that, I swear! I would never do anything to hurt you and that's why we're breaking up."

" This is going to break my heart and you think that wont hurt m-"

" I like Dez."

My eyes then went really wide and I put my hand over my mouth.

" You-You-You're _gay_?" She asked.

" NO... Yes?... Maybe? I don't know!"

" Are.. Are you bi?"

" I told you, I don't know!"

" So.. You've been dating me and you don't know if you even like girls?! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, AUSTIN?!"

" _TO YOU?! _YOU?! HOW THE HECK DO YOU THINK I FEEL?!"

" OH, I'M SORRY, DID I SUDDENLY TURN LESBIAN AND LIKE MY BEST FRIEND?!.. Oh, that's weird."

" _Weird? " _

He then looked at me, both surprised and hurt.

" Oh, you know that's not what I meant."

" No. It's exactly what you meant."

He then looked at me once more, before standing up and leaving, both the practice room and the store.


	2. Chapter 2

Austin & Ally:

Dez's POV:

- At School, In English Class -

It had been almost 2 weeks since the news about Auslly's break-up had spread and I s_till _have no clue what happened..

I mean, Austin hasn't been speaking to me and whenever I bring up the topic to Ally, she just glares at me and leaves the area.

_What did __I__ do?_

I glanced at Austin, beside me.

He wasn't facing me.

He doesn't even look at me now and I don't even know what I did wrong?

" Um.. Austin?" I asked.

He ignored me.

" Austin?... Austin.. "

" WHAT?!" He snapped, r_eally _loudly and everyone was now looking at us.

" Why have you been ignoring me?"

" Dez, just leave me alone. "

" Austin? "

" I SAID TO LEAVE ME ALONE. "

" No, I just want to know what I did wrong! I mean, it's not my fault you and Ally broke up! And yet, you both keep acting like it is! I just feel like I-"

I then got cut off when he kissed me..

_He kissed_ _me!_

My eyes were wide with shock and everyone else was so surprised - even the teacher was - it was just so... Un-expected and sudden...

He then pulled away and looked so frightened.

Austin looked around and saw everyone staring at us; he then grabbed his stuff and quickly left the classroom.

All eyes were now on me.

" Uh... I-"

" Mr. Fisher, would you like to go and check on him?" The teacher asked.

I couldn't talk to him after that! At least, not right now... _God!_

" Um.. No.. I-I'm fine. " I replied, as I just continued with my work, while everyone still kept their stare going.

Austin's POV:

_WHY, THE HECK, DID YOU DO THAT, AUSTIN?! YOU FUCKING IDIOT. HE'S NOW GOING TO HATE YOU - ALL THOSE YEARS AND MEMORIES WASTED. GONE. AND IT'S __ALL__ YOUR FAULT! YOU DICK!_

" STUPID. " I shouted at myself as I head-butted a locker.

Then I realised who it belonged to... _Him..._

The force was too much for it and the locker door came off it's hinges.

I couldn't help myself, I had to look inside.

_Memories._

I couldn't.

I left the school and headed home.

As I reached my house, it was clear that no one was home and so I just decided to go to my room.

I slumped on my bed and fell asleep...

When I woke up, it was only 2:00pm and so I decided to just go on my laptop.

I opened my emails to find a load of messages and tweets and just...

_Hate._

_Everyone hates me._

The notifications were just pure evil and they made me feel like absolute shit. Everything was just so mean and un-called for.

How did everyone know?

How did they find out?

I then got the answer to my own question when I recieved a mail, including a link to a website, where a picture of mine and Dez's kiss was... _100, 336 views.._

_Why?_

I then read my tweets and inboxes.. There was _nothing _nice said about me..

_" Get back in the closet, homo. "_

_" Why are you even alive?"_

_" Go kill yourself, you're pathetic. "_

_What did I ever do to these people?.. Why are they treating me like this?_

Tears and tears started to roll down my face.

I closed my laptop, I couldn't have this any more.

E_veryone hates me._

_I'm sick of everything and everyone. _

_Why?_

" Wh-why do people want m-me dead?.. I-I never did anything to them!" I cried. " Sh-should I do what they want?... "

I then got a text from a number I didn't recognise.

_" Dez?! HA. Not even that freak will love you! Get a life! Or even better.. End the one you already have!"_

And that was it.

I ran to the bathroom and grabbed the nearest razor I could find.

I wasn't planning on killing myself - at least, not yet, but I w_as _going to make myself pay. I'm gay and I deserve to be punished..


	3. Chapter 3

Austin & Ally:

Dez's POV:

- About A Month Later, At School -

I couldn't talk to Austin... I just couldn't! He's the _only _one that doesn't know I'm gay - although, it's pretty clear he wouldn't care.

I mean, I'd be all for the idea of us being together if it wasn't for the school and.. Well.. The world - I'd _hate _for us to be bullied or something, JUST because we spent our time together. It just wouldn't be fair on us and e_specially _him; he has his career to take care of. He doesn't need anything - like this - getting in the way of that.

" Dez!" Some random kid ran up to me.

" Uh.. Hi?"

" So, are you and Austin, like, together now?"

" No.. We... We actually, uh... "

" I knew it!"

" What?!"

He then quickly ran off to his friends and I went to find Austin.

Austin's POV:

It was a habit.

I couldn't stop.

I tried to, but... It's easier said than done.

" Austin!" Dez called to me, running round the corner of the hallway. I then started walking quickly away from him. " Austin! Austin, stop!" He then followed me.

" Go away, Dez... "

" Austin. " He then stopped me, by putting a hand on my shoulder and turning me around.

" What do you want?" I asked, looking anywhere, but at him.

" Have you heard the rumours about us?"

I then paused and looked him in the eye.

" What. Rumours?!"

" Apparently, we're together."

" No! This isn't fair on you! I mean, people know _I'm _gay, but you're no-" I then got cut off when he kissed me. Eyes wide in shock, I pulled away. " I... You... We... Wha-?"

He just smiled - well, at least, he did, until he noticed my arms.

_Crap, I thought I was wearing my jacket!_

" Austin... "

I didn't speak, I just looked at the floor. He then took my arm and pulled me to the bathroom, locking the door.

" Austin, why did you do this?" He asked. His voice was breaking and I could see he was trying to pull back tears.

" I... A-after I kissed you, I went home a-and I... I got a load of mail and... It was all hate. I didn't think anyone c-cared about me and everyone w-wanted me dead. " I said, in-between sobs.

Dez then pulled me into a tight hug and whispered into my shoulder.

" Please, stop. "

I just nodded and we both just stood there, crying - still in each other's arms.

" I-I will... I promise. "


End file.
